Escape From Sane by Blogarella

Blogarella is told on a daily basis that she is lovely and absolutely glowing.  What these people don’t see is that the offspring is exhibiting rock star-esque behavior.  She might not have a hotel room to trash, but my internal organs and my rib cage will make a worthy substitute.  A kick here, a punch there, and who knows, maybe something might get broken.  I can’t bill her for the damage, but I can reserve it for punishments later in life.  If she wants an allowance, I’ll simply send her a bill for the 9 months that I carried her. 

However, thats not to say that mommy hasn’t had some rock star behavior of her own.  Recently when a flight was excessively delayed, I said aloud “If this plane doesn’t come soon, I’m gonna have a baby!”  Apparently there were several mortified looking onlookers and Mr. Blogarella asked me to refrain from making such statements again.  But, I think the worst was when I had to call Mr. Blogarella after receiving an incorrect bill in the mail and I told him “I’m so pissed off I’m having contractions!”  He’s smart enough to tell me to “breathe” when I’d rather “punch” but all and all, I think if he can survive my pregnancy, then he becomes eligible for the Husband of the Year Award.